Thursday, November 10, 2005

and then there was depression

Greetings sports fans; I hope you're not all keeping score because it's not looking good. In my daily perusal of the newspapers, web news, phone down loadable news and everything else, I could not find one piece of pleasant up-lifting reporting. So please, please, if anyone has anything that is genuinely decent. Send it on. In fact, I am now holding a contest; the best piece of news that gets sent to me wins something. I don't know what it is yet, but it will be cool. On top of this, or rather because of this, I have decided to make my own news. More on that later.

I'm not one prone to discussing sports unless I have a vested interest in the outcome; which given my enjoyment of sports gambling, is actually more often than you think. But goddamn! Now Roberto Heras is a doper too. Common, he was so cool, always the faithful soldier to Armstrong's despotism, the leutenant who kept the front under control before The Man put the stomp down, and always with a smile; he never complained that Armstrong not once pushed a pedal in anger for him. Instead, Roberto rode faithfully beside to give Lance the opportunities to win, settling for the sloppy seconds of a not so important race.

Heras was just too cool. Always quiet, always making his mark on HIS race. Who can forget British pop-star drug fiend Davie Millar when he quit and cried in Spain because "it was just too hard..." Fairy!! Heras beat him by like 6 minutes on the day. Milar time this (this would be where I make an inapropriate jesture, you should all do the same).

This is why it breaks my heart to hear that he is accused of taking EPO on his quest to win that not so important race in Spain. I know what you're all thinking. "But Ben, all of your other cycling heros were, are or are accused of doping"

True, once again my imagniary dialog friend, but Johan or Ludo, they were hardmen, racing in hard times, in hard races. What's a little pot belge between friends when you're battling it out on cart paths in the north country in spring when the winds have made the echelons hellish and field's strung out in the gutter doing 35 in the mud. You ride aluminium, I take drugs, I see no difference.

But Heras, he was different; he was nice. Which brings me to my next question. Manolo Saiz bought his Vuelta bike for 26000 euros as a charity event. Does this means it devalues?

Back to my original postulate. I don't care unless I have a vested interest; well, sadly I do. I bet 50 quid before all this started that Heras was on drugs during the Tour of Spain. What's this world comming to. I'm not betting on the outcome of events anymore. I'm betting on whether someone will be caught cheating in them. I might as well gamble on baseball or NFL, but that really isn't gambling; I know those guys are doping, fucking Congress knows they're doping, and if the US Congress knows something, besides that being remarkable, then, eh nevermind.

A collegue of mine asked "what about hockey?" Who cares really. You don't bet on the outcome of that game either, just whether or not someone will be taken out on assult with intent charges. Besides, the only worth while bet there is mullet ratio: 80/20, 60/40 or the coveted 90/10 (this is where we all think of our own funny names for mullets...mine is "canadian passport.")

Well, that tirade's over. I feel strangly numb. Anyway, what am I doing to change all of this? I'm going to make some good news. As of last monday, I began training for a marathon (running not drinking), and have decided to make it a charity event. Don't know the details yet. The cause? Probably something to do with inner-city hunger in Tower Hamlets (the borough in which I live--hunger is a problem, a serious problem here). My method, well I'll do it without drugs except caffeine, because we all know what happens when I don't get caffeine. Oh, I also havent' decided which race; it won't be the London Marathon or anything; it may not even be a sanctioned event, I might circumvent the Man, and just run, a la Tom Hanks when he played that guy. So, if anyone has any ideas about how to make it a charity event, also let me know.

That's about it for now. Things are going well here in the big city. I saw a cute dog on the subway today; It managed to wipe the sneers off many a hard boiled commuter; I even saw one bloke smile, and it wasn't even sunny. Yikes, maybe it's not the "end of days".

gotta go, thanks for reading,



Anonymous Anonymous said...

Welcome to the dark side ... now we just need to get you in the pool. ;)

5:40 AM  

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